Who am i?

My question: Who Am I?

I feel like a leader, but act like a follower.

I dress like the models in Seventeen but I feel like a trendsetter.

My parents think I am boy crazy. I think all girls act like me.

Im scared of myself for my thoughts arent pleasent.

Im screaming for help...but get no answer.

Who Am I?

I dont care what other people think but I cry when they make fun of me.

I watch movies where people fall inlove. I want that. Only I am just 14 & cant have it.

I want to find the truth about myself.

What do I do?

How can i find out who I am?

Is there anyone out there with my situation? Is it just me?

Will i ever follow my dreams of going to college?, Being in movies and T.V shows?, Having a husband and a family?....i have so many I am determined to do but I cant if I do not know who I am?

This isnt me being sorry for myself. This is me trying to find out what to do.

Sincerely,

Me Myself & Who I am trying to find.

It was a GREAT Christas after all(:

Remember how i said that i wasnt sure if it would feel like christmas this week let alone be a good one? well who was i kidding?!(: it was great!! sure it didnt feel quite like christmas because we werent in cloudcroft...and theres no snow...but it was really good(: me and my brother got the Kinect and an Xbox 360(: i was sooo exited. We got lots more but the highlight of them all was the Xbox and Kinect.

My cousin Sierra stayed the night on Christmas Eve. She is staying the night again tonight(: its fun...just us. i never really had a "good"..or :strong" relationship with her..but i guess as we got older we started hanging out more and stopped getting into fights. Thats what our moms suspected what would happen anyways.

I hope tomarrow is a good day also. My winter break would be perfect if almost every day was atleast good(:

Best Christmas ever??? ...I think not...(stupid snow)

I was soo exited about this weekend...i mean who wouldnt be?? ITS ALMOST CHRISTMAS!!!

We all had it planned out. The family was going to my gr8 grandparents cabin about 2 hours or so from where i live..its so much fun(: there is a BIG hill by the cabin and in winter its FULL of snow* which is awesome because we sled...all day(: i love it. <3 but here in New Mexico when we get the littlest bit of snow everyone freaks out and closes the highways. So what do we have to do now? Nothing...just sit here and wait to see when it opens. My parents say we might go tomarrow if the highway is open. I really hope we do..if not im guessing it wont be such a great christmas. Yes im with my family which is great and fun(: sometimes...haha but what if its horrible??? what if its fun? i dont know//im jst hopeing it will be great(:

in some way i guess this is my Journal...No one reads it..wish they would(: it would mean alot. So all im trying to do is talk about current things going on. Then i can look back and read all of this. The weird thing is..My brother brogan is reading everything i type right now.!!! go awwayy Brogan..Please...oh well guess hes not going anywhere. he is 6 and can read so everything i put he is repeating. hes trying to sound some of the words out. (: i am brogan and i am a stupid. just kidding i love u. So i hope this Christmas turns out to be good and i hope that everyone out there in the world as a really great holiday and New Year(: I will get back to you when the holidays are over and tell you how it all worked out(:

Best of wishes>(:

Jordan

Teenagers have a right to be heard!!!

The thing that makes me mad more than anything is Adults not hearing teens out. You never know? We may be onto something! I love getting into political arguments. Or any for that fact(: thats what teenagers are best at so listen up.

We teens know we arent heard as well as we should be...a percentage of that leads to suicide or depression. I believe that I myself can make a difference in life. I believe that ALL teens can make a difference in life. We could help make decisions about the economy! About pollution! About freedom! Or even about world peace. I am going to make an impact on life.

My role model is Rachel Joy Scott. <3 R.I.P This year we had a speaker come to my school. You know what he talked about? Rachel Joy Scott. He came to our school and asked us to join Rachels Challenge. His presentation made me cry :'( her story touched all of us and made us think twice about things we did. The horrible thing that happend to her changed the world! She said "I will not be labeled as average." Rachel believed that she could make a difference one step at a time.  Go to http://www.racheljoyscott.com/ for more info. Comment if u feel like Teens can make a difference(:

Rumors Annonymous

Hello fellow bloggers(: i havent been updating in awhile but i am glad to be back!

So far i am now 14...i hate 8th grade...but i am looking forward to the future. Rumors are horrible. If i could use one word to describe 8th grade it would be "Rumors". No one likes them. Some rumors are made by people that are jelous of what you have, others....have no life and try to ruin others. The #1 blame for rumors are girls. Yes, i am a victim but who isnt??? im sure some of us have done the accedental rumor which is very common. Like the game of Telephone. You hear something and past it on adding another word or two..maybe you just missunderstood but somehow its allllll over the school. Rumors spread fast!. Also you could like this guy another girl has and say shes cheating JUST to get them to break up. Yeah your probably thinking "wow this girl is 14 and only in 8th" well, heres your piece of how reality is in 8th grade. I hear high school is better, but who knows? hopefully...just hopefully.

Kinda Bummed out this weekend... :/ ?

I feel BLUE this weekend...reallyy BLUe. I mean i try to make the best out of this weekend but its not going so well... :( To start this post of, i got a C in math, a B in Social Studies, a B in Literature, a B in FFA (elective), a B in Drama (elective), and another B in science. My parents took my phone away and im not aloud to watch T.V or Be on Facebook... :( Then i had a volleyball tournament on saturday and we lost all 4 games!!!!! were good and all but the majority of us started playing volleyball last year so it wasnt to good. Plus our coach hasnt been doing much to help us but it cost $800!....if i dont get my grades up, my parents are taking me off the volleyball team. See what i mean..Wouldnt u be blue too?

Lots and lots of stuff.....

i havent been on here in  a while....So far ive made a really cool volleyball team called Cruces FURY...I wus sooo exited but the bad part is i didnt get the number i wanted...i wanted 25 not 26 but i guess that ok...My phone (that orange that i got) is now like shocked. it dosent work at all and Faith said she would bring her ond one but did she? nope she 4got(: lol its funny cuz shes sittung right next to me and saying "o shut up" hahaha we are in drama class right now and we are supposed to be doing research but as u can tell...were not(: it would be much easyer doing this at home. Its me Faith and Leah in a group. We are soooo bored. there are a group of girls infront of us just talking about other people. PURe gossip..haha Faith is trying to txt someone on my ipod touch. Shes not a technical person..to bad.

Bye 4 now...(: Jordan